Vodka: Cheap French Whore.
While a few people prefer this type of alcohol, many drink it just because it is the cheapest way to get drunk the fastest. You might start out with a heavily diluted mixed drink and still gag when it hits your throat. You’ll eventually be able to suffer through a shot, but no amount of drunkenness will enable you to do this without cringing. For the love of God, if you value your dignity, stay away from Burnett’s.
Wine: Classy Bitch.
Whether it’s a $14 box or a fancy bottle, drinking wine will make you feel as if you’re too good to even party with the sloppy fouls at the bar; that is, until you are the sloppy foul yourself. You…
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