A rant about myself as I’m feeling self indulgent

This is a thing that I feel compelled to write about as it is causing me such distress. Having aspergers means I’m quite lonely most of the time as I have never been very good at making friends. I had hoped it would get better with age when I learnt better coping stratagies and could fit in better with the general populace but this has proved untrue as it’s still there and comes out when your not feeling too good or you drink alcohol to release your inhibitions.  I have tried not to miss out on experiences although this does cause those around me undue mental suffering, torment and anguish. I myself go through existential angst that the average person only experiences as a teen or in a mid life crisis. I am intelligent but that doesn’t mean I have any of the answers. I hate the fact that even my body will not listen to me and my mind will leave me soon too. Life is a very strange thing when you have enough time to stop and think about it. Self actualization is for the philosophers but they do change the world. Only when there dead though and they have a miserable life during as there unappreciated. Look at all our scholars and artists. The most famous is Nicholas tesla whose ideas are only now coming to the forefront as other people are inventing similiar things and it’s being remarked on that he did it first although he didn’t have a pr dept to publisise it for him. History belongs to the strong and not the meek.

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