Aspergers – it’s always there regardless of whether it’s visible

I have just had a brilliant holiday with my mates and indulged in all the things that I love including a night till 5am. However on my return, I was greeted by reality quite sharply. I had to watch my tongue, talk about the weather and other socially appropriate topics and endure the fact that it and things in general are just a lot colder and less friendly here. I will most likely have someone not understand me soon, I’ve already been socially awkward, maybe offended someone and no matter how well I can fake it when I’m in a good mood, it will always come out when I’m sad or just not feeling 100%. That is the curse of aspergers. You may never know it’s there as you haven’t seen it but there is always an undercurrent and the situation can quickly change. I’m sorry for those that get offended, I really am but I can not help the way I am. It takes so much out of me to appear normal that it cannot be constantly maintained. I have to work so hard to understand and interpret what you take for granted that I’m bound to make mistakes and then they can’t always be repaired. I know I lose friends over this but that’s just life for me. A lonely place.

Ah yea I got hit by this again this year too and it was quite bad but I get over it after a month.

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