Aspergers and learning about emotions.

You may feel this is again a strange topic to write about as we all have emotions all of the time and we can’t stop them but when you have Aspergers that is precisely what you want to do. You want to be master of your life, you don’t want outside forces like hormones and emotions to make decisions for you. We like logic as that is predictable and can be analysed. There is right and wrong there where as in the wider world there is a lot more levels in between. It’s a bit like when vulcans go on pon Farr. For those that don’t know it’s when vulcans mate. They become very aroused and this is when there children are born. This desire can’t be ignored so if no suitable mate is around they have to travel home. Luckily for them this only happens once every 7 years but this does go some way to explaining why people with Aspergers struggle with intimacy. It’s not something you can learn out of a textbook and default responses don’t work here, it’s dynamic. We would also like to deny our animal impulses and we are very good at repressing emotions but that hurts so very much. We are scared of being open and vulnerable as people usually take advantage hence our general guarded nature. Emotions and hormones are however what make us human and as the car advert says, “without them we would be mere machines”. So help us in our journey to becoming fully rounded people as although you think that everybody understands all emotional states intuitively, we do not. We need help with controlling the flow as we would like it to be constant not absent or too much. Plus there is such a range from happiness to sadness, anger, jelousy, apprehension, guilt, excitement … that we are not always sure what we are feeling or whether it is appropriate for that point in time. It takes a long time to figure out why certain things make us feel the way we do so our love is different to normal but no less special. We have a different view point on the world and as long as you can respect that it is fine.

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