Now I have written about connected topics or posted about them e.g. isolation and separation anxiety but this one is specifically about loneliness.
Loneliness is something that is common to most autistics as they find it hard to connect to other people and when they do they are shut down and its just further incentive for them not to bother with humanity and it makes them sad. Its a terrible thing to be sidelined from the world just because you are different and don’t understand the ways of the world. We didn’t ask to be made this way so the least you could do is show some compassion and not just pity us instead of real feelings. We are just as complete as you are, only we are made in a different way so it requires different ways of interpreting our feelings. I was watching a documentary about the making of the curious incident of the dog in the night time and it mentioned there that autistic people don’t give love and my mother agreed. That really pissed me off. Our problem is that we are extremely empathetic and have too much love to give. Its just because it is packaged in a way that you don’t expect. Its often actions not words and its little things when your not looking or noticing, there not always monetary based. Don’t force autistic people to conform to your standards because it will not work and both of you will end up frustrated. As mentioned by Simon Baron Cohen in one of his interviews we are the original anarchists. We don’t like to conform to your rigid expectations because we see the illogical nature of them. Like Christopher Boone says people are unclear in there speech by staying things like be quiet but often not for how long for etc.
I like my alone time and prefer this to watching stupid television shows as its just filling time. I do like people but often they talk about such trivial things like what happened in those same stupid TV shows that I don’t want to watch. I think people are afraid to be original as it disrupts the status quo and we can’t be disturbing the peace can we. This is why I’m alone as I prefer the order and logicalness of things like trains, language, history. Its really terrible that most of my communication happens on-line yet its still not a real connection and things are misinterpreted. I believe that its the atmosphere of England that creates isolation as I’m always happier abroad and even foreigners in England are usually the happiest but I’m generally chastised for making conversation with strangers because of the inherent dangers.
I do despair about my lack of interesting people to talk to but also the fact that most of the populace is brainwashed into following the masses and I am not going to become one to fit in. I miss my autistic friends but I haven’t been able to meet up with them for so long as I can’t drive and its too inconvenient by public transport.