This is a self soothing behaviour that all autistics engage in. The classic is the rocking back and forth or the throwing of a tantrum. However there are many other stims that are used that are less obvious. Some of these could also be considered flirting in the right environment.

Twiddling with your hair for instance is a common tactic that women use when they are talking to a guy, at least on TV. When I play with my hair it’s usually because I’m anxious about something and need to distract myself.

As well as the physical stims there are the verbal stims. These make us look like children. These are similar to echolia as it’s the repeating of the same sounds. This is the only way that babies can communicate but autistics revert to this stage when under stress. Many an autistic is non verbal yet will still show what it is they need. You just have to tune into their frequency.

It’s the overriding belief of the majority of society that if you are not speaking fluidly and elegantly with no inappropriate language or behaviour then you are communicating well. If you step back and look at that statement you will discover that more autistics will follow that rule than the neuro typical community. Yet we are the ones that are penalised.

We are social but in our own way, we are empathetic in our own way, we are everything you are but since you are not able to acknowledge different ways of thinking, living and being we are neglected.

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