These are necessary to be able to engage with people without taking on all of their worries. Being empathetic I do this and it leads to emotional overload. When this happens I shut down and stop talking. I don’t want to stop helping people as I like doing this but I need to engage in some more self care. I need to build walls to be able to continue with the emotional onslaught I encounter from others. I can’t help if I’m overwhelmed but I can learn how to cope with this better.
Being autistic (neuro diverse) means there is no natural boundaries like in a neuro typical (an average person) and I’ve had to install them myself. However if I’ve had to install a boundary because of a previous painful experience (malware or a virus) this is more like a firewall. This is because it’s for my protection to prevent me from engaging in that behaviour again but it’s also harmful for my relationships towards others. Firewalls repel all attackers so they keep you safe but they also prevent you from forming attachments to anyone. This is not healthy and it certainly doesn’t make you happy.
I need to delete the bad code (malware) that has been installed inside of me but first of all I have to discover it. Anyone who has ever had a bug on their computer will know that this is quite difficult to do as they tend to copy themselves all over the place to prevent there deletion.
I will have to go on a quest much like Harry Potter did to find the Horcruxes (pieces of his enemy Voldemort’s soul) and destroy them. Sorry for the mixed metaphors but not everyone understands technology.