Day 7 in the Big Brother House – Angela is in the Diary Room.

For those of you who have never watched Big Brother on Channel 4 when it was popular this was a common phrase. It marked out the days in isolation they had spent and the Diary Room was one of the few places that got any peace and quiet.

I imagine our enforced isolation due to Covid 19 is very similar except we don’t have cameras observing our every move. We however still cannot leave the premises of our particular “Big Brother” houses. People are also not allowed in. The Diets we have been following might also be a little different to what we usually eat.

I’m always surprised that they don’t go insane when they voluntarily agree to be locked up for weeks on end. They must have strong mental attitudes. I don’t remember the working while on the show but I wasn’t one of those that watched them religiously even though you could whenever you wanted to. Looked a bit too much like voyeurism to me or observing animals at a zoo. They never behave as you would expect because they are being watched and they know it – The Hawthorne affect.

Now if we were all to use this time to better ourselves we will become the most productive we have ever been. We can heal, exercise, learn to cook, play music, practice art, write poetry, speak foreign languages and build relationships. We can nurture our families so that they are stronger than before and resilient against hardships like the one we are currently experiencing.

I think we have the possibility to make all our dreams come true of a more inclusive world that is accepting of neuro diversity, gender diversity and racial diversity. Awareness has been built and acceptance is coming so now we just have to make a society that we are all proud to be part of.

The society that existed before certainly was exclusive in only allowing the conformists to prosper or those who could fake until they made it. I’ve never been able to fake it, at least not in a convincing fashion so I’ve never been able to make it. I’ve been at the outskirts of society as I could never find a way to fit into that jigsaw puzzle. It’s ironic that the emblem of Autism is a jigsaw piece as that gives the illusion there is a place for you. If you have done a jigsaw puzzle you will know that out of thousands of pieces you only fit in one place. You will also know that it takes a very long time to find that place especially if there is no map and if any bits are missing it cannot be completed. I still feel like that broken piece leftover from a puzzle that was getting increasingly filled in as time went by. I haven’t found what picture I belong in, yet alone where in that picture I fit. I’ve tried so many different puzzles but I cannot find the right one and I’m tired of searching. It’s lonely and exhausting. I just want to be a part of something. I wonder is this so much to ask?

2 Comments Add yours

  1. I’ve never watched Big Brother. I suspect if I were on it I’d get stir crazy in a week. Not a matter of being isolated from the world but rather being trapped with the other lunatics. I’d probably get kicked out for excessively “adult” behavior.


  2. You might be voted off first for being boring true.


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