I’m currently in a very strange place as my thoughts, feelings and hormones remind of when I was a carefree teenager but I’m 30 not 18 anymore. I have grown a lot both mentally and emotionally and I have responsibilities now to my husband, his business interests but also to his parents. They look after me very well so in return I do what I’m asked. I know I can’t live with my parents anymore or on my own so it’s nice to have company. I don’t have children and didn’t expect it to take this long as we’re all told in sex ed about the dangers but not about what happens when it doesn’t work. I need some form of stimulating environment as I’m not studying, working or raising children but to be honest when I was was a child all I wanted to do was read and stay at home. No thoughts of children or work, just enjoyment and education. This is however not real life as much as I like my day dreams. So the conundrum continues as I’ve done all the wanted to do as a child and a lot more. When I had my accident at 17 I could have died then so now I tend to be more free and involved in my own life but I still have those deep dark periods where I’m worried what I’m doing is wrong as im not being fulfilled on all levels but with them constantly changing how can anyone keep properly satisfied?